Planning for Your Child’s Future

Preparing for a successful transition for your child starts sooner than you might think. Starting to prepare for your child’s transition now ensures that the transition will go as smoothly as possible.

Foster Independence

Fostering independence is an important part of preparing your child for becoming an adult. It can be hard for young people to make decisions or take on new responsibilities when they do not have experience making choices on their own. Preparing for independence while your child is still at home gives them a safe environment for learning how to become self-sufficient. Being independent means something different for everyone; it is important to help your child become as independent as possible.

As a parent, here are some ways you can foster independence:

• Let your child practice making their own decisions
• Give your child new responsibilities
• Allow your child to take risks and make mistakes
• Let your child experience consequences
• Discuss the outcomes of their decisions
• Role-play possible situations your child may face
• Be a mentor and a guide, but give your child space to form their own opinions

It’s good to remember:

• Allow your child to still be somewhat dependent on you while they learn to do things on their own
• Independence comes in stages; it does not happen overnight
• Being independent looks different for everyone
• Set high expectations for your child; don’t assume your child can’t do something just because they haven’t done it yet
• Your role as a parent is always changing
• You are not alone, other parents face similar situations; consider joining a support group or forming your own

Communicate About the Future

Communicating about the future is another way you can start the transition process. Most children and teenagers do not think very far into the future. It is important for parents to start the conversation about what happens after high school.

As a parent, here are some ways you can start the conversation about your child’s future:

• Encourage open discussions
  • Open communication helps young people feel like they have a safety net that allows them to talk about anything
• Talk about how life will change after high school
  • Help your child understand that they will make decisions for themselves about things like their health, benefits, work, and school
• Learn about your child; the transition should be centered around them
  • Knowing more about your child, what they want and imagine for the future, will help you plan a successful transition and locate resources
  • Ask questions about how your child imagines life after high school
    • Ask your child to describe their ideal job and living situation after high school
    • Ask your child what they worry about for the future
  • Teach your child about the resources that are available
    • Your child needs to understand the resources that are available and how to use them
  • Encourage your child to talk with other adults too
    • You probably remember that it was not always fun or easy to talk with your parents about serious issues. Remind your child about the other adults who care about your child’s future
    • Ask another adult to talk with your child about your child’s future
  • Consider a mentor
    • Mentoring can help build self-esteem, improve attitudes about school and the future, and help form positive relationships with parents and other adults
    • A mentor can be a peer or an adult who has had experiences similar to your child

It’s good to remember:

• Be positive
  • Transition is a scary thing for parents and young people but it is also an exciting time
  • Being enthusiastic and optimistic can make a big difference
• Be a good listener
  • Just listen for a while and hear what your child is saying
  • Try to avoid jumping in to finish your child’s thoughts or interjecting your own opinions
• Avoid quick judgments
  • Let your child set high goals for themselves
  • Young people change their minds often
• Collect your own thoughts first
  • Think about the particular challenges your child might face
  • Have some ideas ready about how you can tackle these issues together

Encourage Self-Advocacy

Encouraging self-advocacy is a great way to promote the skills your child will need to succeed as an adult. Being able to stand up for yourself and what you need doesn’t always come easily, but with some help and practice, everyone can improve. Only your child knows what they are thinking and how they feel. It is very important that your child learns to speak up on their own behalf.

Building self-esteem is an important part of teaching your child self-advocacy. Encouraging your child to participate in an organization, such as the YMCA/YWCA, 4-H, or scouting, can help your child build confidence and learn leadership skills.

As a parent, here are some ways you can encourage self-advocacy:

• Teach your child about their disability
  • The better your child understands their disability and their strengths and challenges, the better self-advocate they can be
  • Visit your child’s doctors, teachers, and counselors to help them learn more about your child’s disability and how it impacts your child’s abilities in school and life
• Include your child in meetings about them
  • Include your child in all IEP meetings, doctors visits, and other meetings that concern them
  • Before meetings, talk with your child about what will be discussed, who will be there, and support your child in voicing any questions or concerns they might have
  • Ask your child’s school to teach your child how to run their own IEP meetings
• Role-play different situations
• Teach specific self-advocacy skills
  • Confidence, knowledge, and perseverance make self-advocacy easier and more effective
• Model good self-advocacy skills
  • Stand up for yourself when something isn’t right, but be polite and firm
  • Ask questions when you don’t understand something
• Seek out youth leadership training opportunities

It’s good to remember:

• Standing up for yourself is hard and can be stressful
• Becoming a good self-advocate takes time and practice and a lot of support
• Listen to your child’s fears and other emotions without discounting them
• Praise and encouragement go a long way

Set Goals for the Future

Setting goals for the future is a concrete way to get the transition process started. Get into the habit of setting goals with your child. It is a great way to make transition planning easier.

As a parent, here are some ways you can help your child set goals for the future:

• Talk about wishes for the future — yours and your child’s
  • Your child’s dreams should guide this process
• Encourage your child to create specific goals that relate to their future
  • Goals can be related to education, work, or personal relationships
• Document goals with your child
  • Have your child write a goal statement with strategies for success, anticipated challenges, available resources, and a timeline
• Notice when your child is working towards their goals and give praise
• Teach your child how to overcome challenges and handle setbacks
• Give your child credit
  • Ask “How did you do it?”

It’s good to remember:

• Your child should take the lead on these exercises
• Encourage high expectations
• Be patient. Achieving goals takes time and commitment; it won’t happen overnight
• Celebrate successes

Teach Your Child About Resources

Teaching your child about available resources and how to use them is another important step towards adulthood and independence. Your child needs to understand and have experience accessing resources and supports. Allowing your child to practice using resources will make the transition process easier.

As a parent, here are some ways you can teach your child about resources:

• Discuss the resources your child currently uses
  • Your child may not know about the resources they use every day
• Include your child when you do anything related to their resources
• Explain how you find resources
• Include your child in the research process
• Explore youth training opportunities or peer mentoring groups
• Show your child transition websites and other resources that are geared towards young people

It’s good to remember:

• Finding resources can be daunting and frustrating for everyone
• Sometimes your child will respond better to lessons from an adult who is not their parent
• The resources available may not be able to solve every problem